I did good this week. Except that I don’t like labeling what I did as “good” or “bad” because that just engenders so much shame when I don’t accomplish what I had hoped. That’s part of the struggle, of course. Things are either good or bad, and if I’m bad, then it’s too easy to use that as an excuse and not develop the habits I want to. Worse, if I’m good and I’m not seeing the results I’d hoped for, how depressing is that?
And right now, I’m not. I weighed myself on Thursday last week. I’ve gained two pounds in the last week and a half, since I started focusing on working out again. Whee. It’s started. For whatever reason, when I work out a lot, I tend to not lose weight. Instead, I will gain 1-2 pounds per week, every single week until I give up. My clothes aren’t fitting differently, and it’s a depressing start because shouldn’t I see a big difference at least the first week or two? Needless to say, this is something I need to figure out and this week I’m tracking what I eat to see if that helps to shed some light on what’s going on. Given the amount of food I eat and the exercise I’ve done, there’s no way I’ve ingested an extra 7,000 calories, however – the equivalent of those two pounds.
That said, this is why I’m not looking to lose weight as my primary goal. Instead, my goals are more focused around feeling fit again. And regaining my shoulders and arms. And I don’t want to be embarrassed by my core strength. Losing weight would be a bonus, but as long as I’m gaining muscle and increasing my fitness level overall, that’s where I’m aiming.
So this week was an interesting exploration.
On Monday, I tried a Zumba class at the park district where I’m a member. I love dancing, and I love Zumba classes. I was a little nervous knowing how intensely cardio they can be, but this one was fine. There were several students in the class new to Zumba, and the instructor went easy on us. That said, she wasn’t my favorite instructor. She didn’t cue – which granted is to some degree part of Zumba, but I like cuing, especially when I’m new to an instructor. More critically, she wasn’t consistent. One set of moves, she’d do 4 counts. The next, she’d do six. It was hard to keep up with what she was doing for me. She also didn’t stay in rhythm with the music the entire time, which really threw me. I did it, and I’m glad I did it though. And maybe I was cranky and can attribute it to a combination of that and being new so it wasn’t comfortable. I’m not writing it off yet – and I’ll try other Zumba days to see if I like other instructors better.
Tuesday and Thursday, I did the fitness challenge class that I originally had signed up for. It’s getting easier, which is good. I didn’t have sore muscles at all after them, let alone the massively sore ones after my first class. That’s improvement right there. The people in the class are fun, and I’m enjoying the variety that we push through, which makes the class go by quickly. I will admit that we did two sets of calf raises on Thursday – the first for 60 seconds and the second for 45 (both of which I suspect were longer than she told us they were) – and I felt that. On Friday, I felt like I had tennis balls in my calves that simply bounced within my calf every time I took a step. I still felt that on Saturday, though not as painfully. Apparently I’ve found a new part of my body to focus on.
On Wednesday, I tried something new. I went to a cardio kickboxing class that the studio offers. I’ve witnessed some previously, as there is a more advanced one that takes place at the same time Mister Man does his Saturday tae kwon do work. I wasn’t sure how it would go, but I figured I’d try it. There were only four of us in the class, and the other three are regulars. They were great in making me feel comfortable. I got tired in it, but I enjoyed it… to a degree. I don’t think this is going to be my new favorite must do class, but I’ll keep going when I can for the next several weeks.
Friday I had breakfast with a friend instead of heading to the gym. Once I got home, I had a ton to do, and I did a lot of it. But I at least made the time to play some Just Dance 4 and get a bit of a cardio workout in, though not as long as I’d hoped I would. I could have done more that evening, but my husband was home and for some reason I felt odd about doing it in front of him. Saturday and Sunday was the same thing. I just chose not to do it because there were people around. And that’s something I need to get over – quickly.
So this week is more of the same. Making myself go to classes, although that isn’t quite the right word. But now I’m focusing on what I’m eating to see if that sheds any light on why I’m actually gaining a pound a week again instead of losing weight. What’s your goal for this week? How is your focus on your resolutions for the year, regardless of what they might be?