Last night, I had a brainstorm after my husband and I had a … discussion of him not eating his pizza crusts and therefore wasting food (he doesn’t just not eat the bready tip parts but leaves behind some of the sauce and cheese that are at the end of the pizza slice) – not choosing to simply take a middle piece befuddles me. Granted, it’s a silly thing, but isn’t that the point of marriage? Having fun and enjoying the little silly things?
Forget the cherishing, the keeping in sickness and in health. There are more important things we forgot. Without Further Ado (or is that without further “I do” – ha!), I present to you my top ten list of items I neglected to include in my (husband’s) wedding vows:
10) I will eat all that my wife puts in front of me, whether it’s my favorite food or whether it is something that I need to tolerate.
9) I will always empty the trash when it begins to near the top of the trash can without reminders from others in the household.
8) When I pick something up, I will replace it where I found it.
Corollary: I will remember where that place is the next time I want to use it.
7) When it is bedtime for the children, I will not start unrelated projects that distract them from going to bed and me from helping them to get ready for bed.
6) When there is icky, nasty food that’s been left in the fridge for far too long, I will uncomplainingly remove it from its container out of my wife’s sight and smell, dispose of it, and clean said container.
5) I will offer nightly foot massages.
4) I will not start up my car and run it for ten minutes before leaving the house in the morning once Jack Frost begins visiting. Instead of wasting gas and money, I will not be lazy and instead will scrape the frost from my car.
3) When sent to the grocery store with a list, I will purchase the items requested.
Corollary: I will not come home with random other items that are not needed or wanted in the household.
2) I will let me wife get the mail from the mailbox, knowing that it brings her an unexpected sense of pleasure to be the one to get and sort through the mail.
and the number one thing I forgot to add to my (husband’s) wedding vows?
1) I shall learn to chew with my mouth closed and without smacking my lips.
So what kinds of things did you neglect to include in your wedding vows that you wish you could renegotiate?