Decorating for Christmas:
Women plan for the decorations. We determine when we’ll have time to put up what decorations, and for that matter, what decorations we’re planning this year. We’ll wait to get it out and ready until we know we have a block of open time to do so.
Men are reminded that it’s Christmas time when they see the stockings that the woman has gotten out of storage (the only item that had the time to go up, as it’s quick and easy). He goes into the basement and starts lugging out all random Christmas boxes and depositing them in the children’s playroom so that the woman “will have some motivation to get things decorated.”
Removing items from storage:
Women very carefully place the somewhat fragile decorations from another holiday in an area where they are not likely to be disturbed. When removing other items from the storage area, women are careful to avoid disturbing other items in the storage area to minimize breakage.
Men see big boxes. Men get big boxes. Men go fast. Men drop things.
Accidentally breaking items:
If a woman accidentally breaks an item, she first inspects it to determine whether or not the item is fixable. If it is fixable, she immediately adds that to her to do list, at or near the top of said list. She picks up all the pieces and ensures that the area where the breakage occurs is once again clean. If the item happens to belong to someone else, the woman will tell that person, apologize and offer to either fix it or replace it.
Men break things. Regularly. They pick the item up without looking at it and put it back where – or somewhat close to where – they think they found it. They pick up the big pieces and throw them away. Men leave the little pieces on the ground — because the cleaning ladies will vacuum it eventually — so that the woman can come downstairs with her hands full and fear that somehow there has been a mouse infestation or something equally disastrous. Men don’t mention the broken item to anyone unless pressed on the suspected mouse droppings in the basement.
Sometimes I wonder… and sometimes I just try not to be bitter. Guess which day today is!