Well once again, something was thrown at me today that changed the direction of my intended post.
Nicole at Driving with the Brakes On posted the most moving bit of writing that I’ve read in a long time. She just delivered her baby girl at 21 weeks and lost her. I can’t imagine the pain that she’s going through right now, but her story is well worth the trip there to read and to offer her support.
I was reading it this afternoon while the wee ones were napping – or in the case of Mister Man, resting “quietly” in his room. I had gotten through the first post (April 22), with tears just streaming down my face. As I was about halfway through the second post, with audible choking and periodic gasps with my tears, Mister Man came downstairs and interrupted me. It’s probably a good thing he did, as I definitely needed some time and space to prepare myself for reading more.
How Nicole is able to talk so openly about her experiences and even just to keep going, I have no idea. I don’t know how I would react were I in her position, but I doubt it’s with the equanimity she’s showing. I’m lucky in that both my pregnancies were easy, and I can’t imagine losing a baby or a child ever, let alone like this. I realized awhile ago that my husband is my talisman. We want and have two children, but we’ve refrained from him having a vasectomy to ensure that both our children stay happy and healthy – cheating Murphy’s Law if you will, as callous as that sounds. But I’m a superstitious person.
With Mister Man coming downstairs, I again counted my blessings, and I encourage you to do the same. The preciousness of each child and person and being that is important to us is so easily overlooked. Needless to say, there were a few hugs and kisses given before I scrapped the afternoons plans and we went on a bike ride to the park to go have fun instead.