So I took a look at the letter I wrote to myself at the beginning of this year. You know, the one where I talked about how I’d done such a great job working so hard for the last year and how I needed to make sure I didn’t let it all go to waste?
Yeah, that one.
I’ve sort of failed on that front. Oh, not one hundred percent off the chart wow you failed, but still… I’m not happy with myself. I lost a good portion of weight last year, and more importantly, I was stronger and fitter than I’d been in a long time. It was to the point that friends were commenting on it regularly, and I have to say that while I enjoyed their compliments, I loved feeling good even more.
Of course that’s a long term type feel good, and it’s so easy to let the pleasures of the moment take center stage and ignore the long term ramifications. I’ve been doing that for awhile now, and I can tell. My clothes fit much more tightly than they did. There are clothes I put on that I’m just not comfortable in – and I don’t like the way I look in them.
Granted, I’m not obese. Not yet anyway, but when you calculate what I’ve gained in the past six months and take the trend I’ve started, things don’t look so good. I’m heavier now than I was when I started my fitness focus almost two years ago. That’s not good.
In that letter I wrote to myself, I had laid our four little steps for myself. Little steps. Nothing major, just little things to be aware of. 1) Cut out the sugar. 2) No excuses for skipping the gym. 3) Eat regularly. 4) Stay hydrated.
I’m pretty disappointed to report that I’ve pretty much failed on all counts. Sugar? I’ve been having fun making ice cream and homemade marshmallow fluff and brownies or cookies all summer and beyond. While I tend to enjoy making them more than eating them, I’ve enjoyed more than my share of sweets this year. I’ll admit to the fact that I actually had twenty or so dark chocolate chips just before I sat down to write this – and didn’t even think about it until just now. On the plus side, I’ve started going back to doing protein smoothies and other protein filled breakfasts rather than leftovers or other unhealthier options. The ZonePerfect Bars I was sent in a survival pack helped remind me to get back on track.
And eating in general has been a challenge for me lately. Literally nothing has sounded or looked good to me. I’ve been skipping meals because I don’t feel like eating, and that’s the surest way to mess with everything I’ve done. It prevents me from having the energy I need to work out hard at the gym, as well as leading to an increase in migraines (and I shockingly, have been suffering a ton of migraines the last few months). Today for lunch, I knew I had to eat and finally decided that a little Manchego and dried cherries would suffice. Good news, it isn’t that unhealthy, but that isn’t a real meal. I’m not sure what’s up, but I need to reverse it.
And oh the gym excuses. I was good up until the beginning of July. Then I got “busy” and couldn’t make a day. That turned into two. Then I was headed out of town and so had to skip other days to catch up. And so it went until the kids were back in school. Except that it continued. Though I went to the gym here and there, I had meetings or work or migraines of other excuses that mean diddly squat but that I used anyway.
Tomorrow is a perfect example. I have a meeting at 11am and another from 12-2. The class at the gym I generally do runs from 9:45 to 10:45, leaving me not enough time to shower afterward and before my meeting. And since my second meeting is in person, I can’t show up sweaty and stinky and need to shower. So I just won’t go. Fortunately, the wee ones have to be at school at 8am tomorrow morning (unexpectedly), so I looked at the gym schedule and saw that there is a mat Pilates class at 8:30. But I don’t really love Pilates and so was going to just toss that day aside. Again. Like I did yesterday because I had a meeting at 9:15 and missed the start of my class so just skipped it. I’m not going to, however. It may not be my favorite class, but I need to go and will go. Last week was the first week I went to the gym regularly. And when by Friday my body was screaming “enough” I still arranged to go walking with friends and got a good three miles in.
Interestingly, my lack of going to the gym has had a huge impact on my hydration. I haven’t quite figured it out, but it’s almost like I’m too lazy (from not going to the gym?) to get up to fill a water bottle and so just don’t drink anything. In fact, I sit here and was thirsty – doing nothing about it – as I typed and made myself stand up and get water. I love water. I love drinking water. I love my water bottles – but I’ve lost (sadly) most of my Camelback bottles, which is what I prefer to drink from, and so I haven’t been as motivated to drink anything when the one remaining one I have is dirty.
So let this be a wakeup call. Today when nothing sounded good, I’m proud of myself that I resisted the urge to make cookies and gorge on them for lunch. A couple slices of Manchego and dried cherries was a much better choice. Good for me for returning to a protein-filled breakfast, knowing how critical that is for me. Good job in making it to the gym all last week. Keep doing it. If something comes up, I’ll get my steps in another way – that’s what my pedometer is for. And for the love of Pete, what’s with this lazy thing? Go get a drink of water, Me! Monitor what you’re drinking and ensure you’re getting enough. It makes a huge difference and between that and the gym could be a big reason why I haven’t been sleeping well and am constantly exhausted.
This has not been the greatest year for me because I’ve allowed myself to get off track. My weekly fitness updates haven’t been so weekly because I haven’t been focusing on fitness in my own life. And that needs to change because I’m not happy. I’ve started my baby steps again, and this is a good time for a reminder. The year isn’t over, and there’s plenty of time in my life to do what I want – and need – to do.
The good news is that I have a fun ZonePerfect giveaway filled with some healthy essentials to give away to one lucky reader. It includes a pedometer, tumbler, lip balm, hair ties, hand sanitizer, a and box of ZonePerfect bars – just what you need to finish this year off on a healthy note. Want to win it? Follow the directions in the Rafflecopter giveaway below. Good luck!