I Need A Cover Story

September 12, 2011 by Michelle

So this is me right now:

Yep, I’m living life on a couch, for the most part, with my foot up in the air. Why? Well, I’ve done some damage to three toes on my left foot. They hurt. A lot. And they’re black and blue – fortunately mostly on the bottom. That said, they’re swollen and sore, and it hurts to walk.

But hey, they’re toes. You can’t really do anything for toes other than tape them to their friends and avoid walking on them as much as possible. Well, that and keeping them elevated and iced.

I have a bigger problem than some broken toes, however.

See, I did it in a sort of embarrassing manner. I forgot to grab a few things when I left my house (does baby brain ever go away?) and had to come back to grab them. Since I was now in a hurry, I ran quickly through my kitchen to pick them up from their various locations.

In my defense, the stairs in my kitchen that lead upstairs sort of jut into the room because they open both to the family room and the kitchen, so they come out at an angle. And that’s the closest I get to an excuse.

Anyway, as I ran past them, I didn’t run past them. I ran smack dab into them at full speed. And four of my toes went sideways with a painful lurch. I managed not to swear but did the “ow ow ow ow!” dance across my kitchen before hobbling slowly to grab the necessary items, sure I’d just stubbed them badly and would get over it shortly.

It’s been three days, and they still hurt and are swollen and black and blue. I think they might be broken. Thank goodness I got a manicure just before I captured the Klutz of the Year Award. Anyone who sees me can immediately tell something is wrong with my toes, but I really need a better story of what happened to cause me injury.

Because really, the truth is too embarrassing. I’m taking suggestions!

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  • Lisa Noel

    I have done this twice with pinkie toes!!

  • Megryansmom

    At least you didn't chip the polish ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Tara R.

    Oh that hurt me! I hope your toes are back to good very soon, but I'd work the whole foot-up-resting thing for a while. Get your peeps to wait on you while you're convalescing.

  • Melisa Wells

    I think you should say that you were ziplining and had a bad landing.

  • Headless Mom

    Ow! I'd go with the zip lining excuse! Well, that, or running away from the zombies…

  • Mandy

    Ouch! Love your purpley toenails though! Hey – they match your battered toes! ๐Ÿ™‚ You could always say that you were cooking a fantabulous meal for your family and dropped the cast iron skillet on your foot while cooking tirelessly! hehe

  • Pat

    Oweee!!! I hate hitting my toes on things like the leg of a bed. That pain lasts a long time. Don't feel embarrassed about how it happened–we've all done that! I hope your toes heal quickly. It hurts me just thinking about it.

  • Heather E

    OMG OWWWWW. That sounds awful girlie! But you know I love your toenail polish ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Heather E

    ps: I like Mandy's idea!

  • Patty @ A Day in My NYC

    OMG! I had no idea! I hope you are feeling better. xo

  • tiarastantrums

    oh your poor winkie toes!! OUCH!!! I dropped the vacuum on my big toe yesterday – it still hurts – see – we're all mommy drain dorks!

  • Michelle

    Lisa – That hurts, too. I did that so many times growing up from horses stepping on me. Apparently this is a general problem for me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Rita – True… it was badly mangled the week before from the wee ones stepping on it, but it's the small things to be grateful for, right?

    Tara – They're getting better, especially if I wear the Dr. Scholl's orthotics I got at BlogHer. The black and blue is not pretty though!

    Melisa – I'm actually going with that story. So far I've gotten a few looks, but that's it….

    Kendra – Zombies? There are zombies around here? Oh no… those are just the dark circles under my eyes.

    Mandy – Ohhh I can only imagine how badly a cast iron skillet would hurt. When those *do* get dropped, I make sure I'm jumping out of the way. And yes, that's happened before.

    Pat – Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Apparently my friends are more graceful, as none of them will admit to it!

    Heather – Why thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Patty – I am, thanks. It'll be awhile before I'm totally back to normal. Apparently there goes my vow to go run again!

    Teresa – Oh no! A vaccum is pretty heavy, youch. Here's hoping your toe heals faster than mine.

  • Mrs4444

    On the possibly-bright side, I broke a pinky toe once, and it is now beautifully-straight (unlike it's partner). Have you healed up by now?

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