I have really had a bad week. I know myself, and I know that I need “alone” time periodically – ok, sometimes more than periodically. It makes me feel like I’m a selfish person, but it’s something hard-wired in me. Without some alone time every once in awhile where I can just veg, I get … stressed. And crabby.
So why haven’t I had any alone time lately?
It’s my fault, of course. For the last week plus, I’ve been running myself ragged. I haven’t had spare minutes in the day because I’ve overcommitted myself. My brain starts to get fuzzy – did I turn in that field trip permission slip or did I lose it somewhere?
How do I get to this point? I stopped making a daily list. My daily list has two components. The A side of the list is things that I have to do before I go to bed. The B side is things that need to get done at some point (e.g., turn in the field trip form) or would be nice to do that day (e.g., read the paper).
It’s been almost a month since I’ve made a list, and I cram too many things into a day because I forget at the time that I already have things to do at that point in time. Or I do things leisurely then remember that I have more things to do and end up jamming everything together quickly.
I think it’s the jamming that does me in. That and the forgetting things or fearing I’m forgetting things that drives me insane.
It took today, a day that should have been a fun day to make me realize that. Surprising, I know, that I’d consider a day I drive into the office as a “fun” day, but frequently they are. I left the house at 6:45 and got to work by 7:45. I left work at 6:45 because I had a co-op meeting at 7pm. Do the math. Fortunately, since I missed rush hour, I was able to walk in the door, grab my calendar and co-op folder and make it to the meeting by 7:30. I was home by 9:30 and then had to straighten out the house a lot because the cleaning ladies are coming tomorrow at 8 and my husband was still grading and hadn’t started.
And of course, the reason there was so much straightening to do is because I hadn’t had or taken the time all week to do what I normally would do. I had no list that says “Wrap Hanna’s present” which means that it is still sitting on the dining room table unwrapped, and I had to put away the wrapping paper and ribbon now instead of having it put away on Sunday like it should have been. The list (no pun intended, I swear!) goes on and on.
So what am I doing as soon as I post this? (Well, right after I finally eat dinner, anyway.) I’m making my list for tomorrow. I think my blood pressure has already started to go down again.
And apparently Little Miss was hysterical at daycare today, according to my mom. Per the daycare teacher, she had cried hysterically for a half hour, and Miss Erin couldn’t get her to stop crying. This is the girl who never cries!
Miss Erin was afraid that she had broken her wrist (ummm, so here’s my question: a daycare provider thinks a child has broken a bone and can’t get the child to stop crying; why was I not called?!). She told my mom that something was wrong with her right arm. My mom asked Little Miss what was wrong with her arm. “Devon wouldn’t hold my hand.”
Little stinker! That was it. Her feelings were hurt, and Little Miss drama queen had everyone wrapped around her little finger worried about her. I’m soooo in trouble. Tomorrow I’ll have a chat with her about how to handle herself next time. And I think there will be a call going into daycare, too.